Joy has been a theme for me this summer. Despite pandemic fatigue. In fact, probably even more so because of pandemic fatigue.
I’ve especially focused my meditation practice on joy, and the course through Insight Timer called Ritualize Your Joy was so rich I had to listen to it twice.
Of note: all the meditations and podcasts I listened to focused on joy being something we access, rather than something that happens.
Other words they used:
awaken
attune to
rekindle
elicit
your joy.
We find our joy by tuning into our senses, practicing gratitude, caring for our nervous systems, and participating in things that involve belonging and meaning. More on these in future blog posts.
We also support joyfulness by separating ourselves from habits, people, or mindsets that confine or harm us.
Not everything that creates joy is instantly blissful. In fact, we often need to delay quick relief (hidden much of the time as pleasure) in service of joy. As my son and I pursue our new running goals, we have to nudge each other on sometimes (a prime reason I asked him to do this with me, I know how easily I can talk myself into “tomorrow-ing” my workouts). I can’t say yet that while running I am feeling any physical delight, but the joy of our after dark neighborhood jogs has become a highlight of late summer.
An exercise I am finally doing today after the summer of pondering joy is to RATE joyful experiences.
I listened to this episode of Oprah's podcast on the way to a gathering at a friend’s beautiful home on a lake. Oprah talked of the small daily pleasures and gave them 1- to 5-star ratings of the joy she can feel when she is present in her enjoyment. The two trips I made for friend lake time took lots of energy and were 5+++ star moments of my summer. My morning coffee can be a 1 if I’m distracted, and a 3 if I sit outside in the early light and set aside everything else for a few moments.
Today I’m going to be on the lookout for my four- and five-star joys. The ones that bring on that “mmmmm.” I can tell you a few recent ones right now: late-night talks and long walks with friends. Running with my son, especially when we high-five after giving the last 30 seconds our all. Sliding onto my massage therapist’s new super satiny sheets. Laying in the dark at a campground looking for meteors (we didn’t see any) with family and friends. Putting that drop of the essential oil blend Joy over my heart in the morning.
A conversation I have often at work is what I see as the misunderstanding of “you have to love yourself first.” We’ve interpreted love to be a feeling that just comes, but I think it is meant in this statement as a behavior. Loving yourself means giving yourself good food, good boundaries, good body movement, and on and on.
So, what will you do today, right this minute, to joy your life?
“Joy is scared; it’s something to be accessed, not pursued.” - Lalah Delia
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