This is going to be the shortest post ever.
COVID fatigue is REAL. I'm seeing it and feeling it.
Summer is my favorite, and I normally get a boost of energy and feel productive, but this year it's been slow in coming.
This past weekend, I got my first chance in forever to really unplug. Like couldn't get internet signal if I wanted to - we were a ten minute drive from the closest cell phone range, which was then slow and spotty.
I came back feeling...not new, but mentally cleared out. I can see the same piles of stuff waiting for my attention and not sink into apathy.
I have lots I've wanted to write about here, and the fatigue had been part of what was keeping me from sitting at my keyboard. I'm a little more hopeful now that I can gather and compose my thoughts.
In the meantime, I can suggest that if the pandemic fatigue is a weight you are carrying, a serious unplug may be just the thing.
Do you collect quotes like I do?
I’ve done this for years. I have notebooks and digital documents full.
And now…they are on my phone. It’s so easy to grab a photo file from social media! I was actually organizing them the other day and decided to share a few that speak to me right now:
You are not a machine. You are more like a garden. You need different things on different days. A little sun today, a little less water tomorrow. You have fallow and fruitful seasons. It is not a design flaw. What does your garden need today? - @joynessthebrave
And don’t think the garden loses its ecstasy in the winter. It’s quiet, but the roots are down there riotous. – Rumi
Eat like you love yourself. Move like you love yourself. Speak like you love yourself. Act like you love yourself. – Tara Stiles
Sensing the theme? With all the messages about how to achieve balance and consistency, it's so important to have the reminder that, usually, balance happens over time, and that figuring out today's needs may beat doing the same thing each day.
I'm curious, is anyone else just recently realizing they had a pretty hard winter and spring? I mean I know the world did, but as someone lucky to be at home and safe over the past year and a half, it was just recently that I realized everything built up and had a bigger impact than I had registered.
A friend shared last month she realized she had felt both "raw and burnt." That really spoke to me.
I think what really made me aware was when I didn't get my usual burst of energy that comes with the longer days of spring. Right into summer, I've had a certain amount of lethargy. Some people identified this as languishing, like in this article.
It's early July and I am finally getting the boost that I'm used to in May. I'm on vacation which certainly helps, but I was careful this past year to take the same number of vacations even when we couldn't go anywhere.
The article above talks about "finding your flow" to get out of the languishing whirlpool. I certainly was not in flow most of the winter.
Steps I've taken in recent weeks:
I went to a watercolor painting class with friends, taught by a friend. (So good to finally be all vaccinated and able to do this!) Painting is very outside my comfort zone and doing something so new jazzed me up. If you are in her New Hampshire neighborhood, consider a workshop with Martina Cyr!
I led an Aroma Freedom class with some Young Living friends, and then last week I finally made quiet time to do a session for myself. AF combines aromatherapy with neurolinguistic processing (my favorite psychotherapy tool) to shake loose some unhelpful thinking patterns.
Have you experienced the languishing, and how are you figuring out what the garden you are needs right now?
Part of my flow this season is teaching again. If you need some help with some limiting thoughts, would you like to do an Aroma Freedom class? Shoot me a message, we can make it happen.
It’s a great time to be in healthcare.
With functional medicine becoming more widespread, people are getting information about how physical health IS mental health. (Because it turns out, our brains are in our bodies. Go figure.)
When people have symptoms that don’t change with their stress levels, I do my best to get them to have a functional medicine consult. I can’t cover all the things they learn, but I wanted to share with you the ones I see being prescribed for my clients. (Remember, I do not have a medical degree and can't advise you, I'm just relating what I've learned from my clients.)
MAGNESIUM
It’s the “calm down mineral.” Seriously. It’s in Epsom salts folks use in a warm bath, and also in milk of magnesia, used for constipation. There are different opinions if we can absorb enough from applying it to our skin, but lots of folks use a spray. I’ve taken it orally (Natural Calm or Ionic Fizz) for muscle relaxing when I had chronic neck issues, and it’s a great one for sleep. I have had more than one client where I noticed a difference in their mood they could not explain. When we dug deeper, they realized the change happened when they started taking magnesium. We need regular intake, most people don’t get enough, and when we are stressed, our bodies use it even faster.
INOSITOL
My first encounter with a client taking inositol was dramatic. I was working with someone with obsessive-compulsive symptoms, and within a week of taking this (combined with L-Theanine) the symptoms were about noticeably reduced! It’s used for a lot of medical conditions, but my experience is that people who obsess about things find that fades dramatically with supplementation.
L-THEANINE
This is a tea extract, but it is hard to drink enough to get the more therapeutic benefits, so it’s widely prescribed in supplement form. Have you seen this popping up in various “health” drinks lately? It’s best known to help with sleep, focus, and relaxation. Again, for my clients who struggle with OCD, it can provide noticeable relief.
On the homefront, we use Kidscents Unwind to promote calm and get ready for sleep. It has both magnesium and l-theanine, as well as some essential oils known for being relaxing. It’s not just for children, I know adults who make it into a tea or just take it straight.
Do you use any supplements that have helped your mental health? I want to know!
Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing. I came across a meme of the beginning of this linked blog post, and just made time to track it down because I wanted to credit the author. It’s everything, so start by reading it real fast, but then come back here, okay?
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I am at the end of an at-home week with no scheduled client appointments.
I am not really calling it a vacation, because I actually did a lot of work. And it felt SO SATISFYING.
Have you ever heard, “you need to make time to work ON your business, as well as work IN your business”?
I’ve not been great with that. Various reasons – financial, “not enough time to do everything,” all the reasons we tell ourselves. And if I’m honest, procrastination too, because if I don’t have time to do it “perfectly,” I tell myself I have to wait until I have time.
My theme right now is updating my systems. I need ways to automate some of the most important things that haven’t been getting done.
I have some systems that work really well, like keeping up with my checkbook, bills, making my bed and doing morning meditation, and brushing my teeth at night. They happen by muscle memory; I don’t have to think to make it happen.
I have a few systems that really needed work though. Staying on top of some work paperwork, and the piles of household papers that, despite my best efforts, grow out of control. Getting my sneakers on my feet, and my body out the door for a walk. Business bookkeeping, and also making time to write this blog and put in my member area all the super information I want my customers to have.
I spend a lot of time reading, thinking, watching things to absorb information, and I’m feeling very called to share with you all the most interesting bits. It’s fun for me, and energizing. I hope once I hit “publish” it’s of value to someone out there, too.
But it takes time, and I need to be intentional, or it doesn’t happen.
So, this week was more of a retreat, which I’ve wanted for a long time. Yes, some R & R happened (it was also school vacation for my 7th grader), but my biggest takeaway is making time for the birds-eye view. Kind of like planning a garden, which is also a skill I’m developing. You can just throw seeds in the ground, but it seems like most good gardeners keep journals and think out the rows ahead of time.
And like gardening, systems work best when you work with the weather and climate. You can start seeds inside on heat mats, but not too early. Watering is best morning and evening, not so great in the heat of the day.
I have been tracking when I’m the most productive and when it’s an internal wrestling match to get things accomplished. When I work with my natural energy variations, the work itself flows. Who’d have thought??
What are your systems? Are they working for you or are you in dire need of creating or revamping?
Last thing - early in my career, I had a wonderful supervisor give this advice: when you are finishing one vacation you should be planning the next one. This makes sense in so many ways, and I am putting my next "work ON my business" day on the calendar now. (My intention is that it won't need to be a week again if I take a day a month to check in.)
You probably know someone who seemed to make a change…just like that. They may experience it as “one day I just decided I was done” with a habit or “ready” for a new way to behave. They probably had small stumbles after that but, overall, they made the change and didn’t look back.
In the psychotherapy world, we talk a lot about Stages of Change. It’s a process we all go through when we realize something isn’t working anymore and decide to do something new.
The stages are:
- precontemplation (What problem? I don’t see a problem! Also known as denial.)
- contemplation (Perhaps there is a problem, but I’m not actually sure it’s that bad.)
- preparation (Something has to give, but I really don’t know what or how to change.)
- action (I’m ready, I’m trying things out, and it’s a priority.)
- maintenance (I’ve got some good new strategies in place, now I have to keep the momentum going.)
Super important: AMBIVALENCE about making a change is normal. It takes a lot of effort, and we are more likely to change when here is so uncomfortable, it’s worth the work to get there.
Super duper important: if you try to skip straight to action, you are missing some really crucial steps. When we contemplate and prepare, we discover the small and large pieces of the problem that have to be part of the solution. For example, if I’m making a change in my diet for medical reasons, but don’t understand how I use food for emotional nourishment and entertainment, I don’t find other ways to nourish or entertain myself when I need to. If those needs aren’t met I’m much more likely to relapse.
So, while that someone in the first paragraph may seem like they flipped a “change switch,” it’s more likely that they’d been working through these stages behind the scenes. Of course, with some issues, we move through the stages faster. Big and current consequences can trigger faster change; the possibility of some unclear future consequence isn’t as motivating.
Something that’s super hard about all of this is it means we see the possible solution long before we make it. If knowing was enough, there would not be so many programs aimed at helping us all exercise more, something it’s clear the majority of us don’t do enough.
So, if you are at the beginning of these stages of change, or have tried for change for a long time, what might help you get to preparation or action?
Counter-intuitively, it’s NOT listing all the reasons to change. Start with all the reasons to stay the same. Why do I stay on the couch instead of lacing up my sneakers for a neighborhood stroll? It feels good to sit and zone out on my phone! I like the quiet! I like being still rather than getting sweaty and winded! I forget! There are so many other things that feel more important!
Then, you can list the things that don’t work about staying the same. I dread going to the doctor because of what my annual blood tests are going to show. I don’t like getting winded walking up stairs. I worry all the time about how long my health will last.
Not done yet – third, list all the good things about changing. Yes, there will be overlaps with that second list, but do it anyway. I will feel more confident going to the doctor. I can imagine myself 20 years from now having energy to have a full retirement life.
The last list – all the reasons that change will be hard. (Again, yes, overlap, but asking questions in a different way matters.) Let’s face it, it’s work to get off the couch and out the door. I have to make time for it and motivate myself. I get shin splints sometimes. I don’t like cold, and warm seasons are short here. I'm not really sure it will be enough.
Will this magically create motivation? No, but it does work better than pretending that it’s an easy decision and then feeling bad when it’s not an easy change. You'll have some things to keep in mind when you are making your change plan, and some reasons to give yourself grace if it takes more than one attempt to get to maintenance.
No matter what, change can be really hard, so knowing a few tricks like this can move you further along that path.
